Hail, Dehydration! On "Avengers: Endgame" and the Incredibly Expanding Blockbuster

Inspired by Avengers: Endgame, the 182-minute grand finale of the Marvel cinematic saga, I crunched some numbers and examined how blockbusters—especially ones not encumbered by Endgame's hefty narrative obligations, with so many characters and storylines to pay off—are expanding at a much faster rate than is the human lifespan. I am solely responsible for the math in the piece, and the jokes. You've been warned.

And speaking of the Oscars, I reviewed Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues (Super-Sized, R-Rated Edition)

Putting the band back together: Rudd, Ferrell, Koechner, Carell, an Arabic numeral.

Oscars Oscars Lupita Cuaron blah blah blah.

In other movie news this weekend, I had the supreme honor of reviewing Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues (Super-Sized R-Rated Edition) for The Dissolve. My review is more or a less an encomium to long movies and more or more a bunch of jokes.

(I was rooting for Chiwetel Ejiofor over McConaughey, but I'm very glad Alfonso Cuaron and 12 Years a Slave won. Lupita Nyong'o gave the classiest speech of the night. I bet the makers of Non-Stop feel pretty dumb for not giving her anything to do in that movie, now.)